Hey so, have I ever told you about the time I was at an interfaith event (my rabbi, who was on the panel, didn’t want to be the only Jew there), and there was a panel with representatives of 7 different traditions, from Baha'i to Zoroastrian?
The setup was each panelist got asked the same question by the moderator, had 3 minutes to respond, and then they moved on to the next panelist.
The Christian dude talked for 8 minutes and kept waving off the poor, flustered, terminally polite Unitarian moderator.
The next panelist was a Hindu lady, who just said drily, “I’ll try to keep my answer to under a minute so everyone else still has a chance to answer.” (I, incidentally, am at a table with I think the only other non-Christian audience members, a handful of Muslims and a Zorastrian.)
So then we get to the audience questions part. No one’s asking any questions, so finally I decide to get things rolling, and raise my hand and the very polite moderator comes over and gives me the mic.
I briefly explain Stendahl’s concept of “holy envy” and ask what each of theirs is.
(If you’re not familiar, Stendahl had 3 tenets for learning about other traditions, and one was leave room for “holy envy,” being able to say, I am happy in my tradition and don’t desire to convert, but this is something about another tradition that I admire and wish we had.)
The answers were lovely. My rabbi said she admired the Buddhist comfort with silence and wished we could learn to have that spaciousness in our practice. The Hindu said she admired the Jewish and Muslim commitment to social justice & changing, rather than accepting, the status quo.
The Christian dude said he envied that everyone else on the panel had the opportunity to newly accept Jesus.
I shit you not.
Dead silence. The Buddhist and Baha'i panelists are resolutely holding poker faces. The Hindu lady has placed her hands on the table and folded them and seems to be holding them very tightly. Over on the middle eastern end of the table, the rabbi, the imam, and the Zoroastrian lady are all leaning away from the Christian at identical angles with identical expressions of disgust. The terminally polite Unitarian moderator is literally wringing his hands in distress.
A Christian lady at the table next to me, somehow unable to pick up on the emotional currents in the room, sighs happily and says to her fellow church lady, “What a beautiful answer.”
anyway I love my rabbi to death and would do anything for her
“Let’s keep the wonderful diversity we have in this world by having everyone accept Jesus as one of their own.”
Fuck you.
I have no need for Jesus.
My life is perfectly complete without worshipping your weird Greek god-man.
My culture predates Jesus and is perfectly complete and good without his Johnny-come-lately ass.
Fuck you and your desire to make everyone like you but with a thin “diversity” coat of paint.
I’m sorry that what I said came across as wrong or as insensitive or selfish because that’s not what I intended. I didn’t think very hard about how I phrased what I was saying, and now I see maybe that was a mistake
I’m not saying you need my Jesus. You absolutely do not. What I meant was more a poorly worded way of me trying to relate to people who have different faiths than me. I don’t understand other people’s gods, but I know mine, so what I really meant was let’s find the similarities between us and use that to bridge the differences. I don’t know much about other religions and I haven’t been given many opportunities to learn.
I think that there is a place for religion in life and not everyone wants or needs it. But I feel loved by my god and I want everyone to have a chance to feel loved like that. And that’s really what I was trying to say
I think there’s a lot of beauty in other faiths though and I want to have a chance to experience some of that and see what it really is that they believe
So I’m sorry that I offended you. It really wasn’t my intention. If you’d like, I’ll go and delete my reblog and all of the tags and we can pretend this didn’t happen
But I feel loved by my god and I want everyone to have a chance to feel loved like that. And that’s really what I was trying to say
You are still engaging in the very Christian practice of talking about people who aren’t like you as if we need to be fixed. As if we’re missing something.
Just because you like a particular thing does not mean that everyone else should have it or like it or need it.
I’m glad you have a relationship with your god that you experience as loving.
You can actually just… stop there in your interaction with people from different cultures.
Just, you know, encounter them as they are.
Ok, for Christians who just don’t get it, try this metaphor on for size. Imagine that you approach me, another grown adult, and you say:
“I love my mom! She’s the best mom in the world!”
“Oh, um, that’s really nice!” I say. “It’s great that you have such a close relationship with her - I love that for you.”
You nod, excitedly, and then continue, “You should be adopted by her.”
“Uh… what?” I reply.
“Well, she’s an amazing mom,” you explain. “I have a really great relationship with her. And she’d be happy to adopt you - I’ve already checked with her. She’s happy to legally adopt anyone!”
“Well that’s very… nice,” I hazard, “But uh, I actually have my own parents, thanks.”
“Oh,” you say, “But surely your parents aren’t as nice as my mom is. My mom would be a much better parent if you just gave her a chance and signed the adoption paperwork.”
“Well,” I say slowly, “Look: I’m not doubting your mom’s niceness or anything, but I actually have a preexisting relationship with my parents and have no desire to sever my ties with them in order to be adopted by your mom. She didn’t raise me, I’ve never actually had a positive interaction with her, and if I’m being honest, it’s a little weird that you’re pushing this on me given that I’m an adult and fully capable of getting by on my own - parents or not. Even if I didn’t have parents of my own - which to be clear, I do - that still wouldn’t mean I’d necessarily want to be adopted. And that’s true even if your mom is the nicest mom in the world. Most adults who are not currently the children of your mom don’t necessarily want to become children of your mom. Does that make sense?”
“But–!” you say “But I feel loved by my mom and I want everyone to have a chance to feel loved like that. That’s all I’m trying to say here.”
“I also feel loved by my parents?” I say, “And it’s pretty offensive that you assumed - without ever having met my parents - that they weren’t capable of loving me the way your mom loves you?”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t know much about other people’s parents and I haven’t been given many opportunities to learn.”
“Er… with all due respect, that’s not really my problem? You don’t have to have a personal relationship with my parents in order to not come up to me and loudly assume that they didn’t love me and that I’d want to be adopted by your mom instead. Can’t you see how that’s a totally inappropriate thing to say to a stranger you know nothing about?”
“Well I’m sorry that I offended you. It really wasn’t my intention. If you want to have a relationship with my mom that’s not a formal adoption, that’s fine too – diversity is important and everyone can love my mom in their own way if that’s better for them.“
“I gotta say, after having this interaction, I’d honestly prefer to never meet your mom at all.”
“Well, I think that there is a place for family in life, even if not everyone wants or needs it. And I think everyone who does value family should have an opportunity to get to know my mom, so that they can know what real family is like.”
“Uh, yeah,” I say, backing slowly away, “I’m going to go now…”
“I’m sure my mom will find you one day!” you call after me, as I book it out of there as fast as humanly possible, “You might not even know she’s my mom - you might mistake her for one of your own parents - and that’s fine for you! In fact, you think you love your parents, but maybe your mom is secretly my mom right now! Whatever diverse relationship you choose to have with my mom is fine, just so long as it’s my mom you love, because my mom is the only mom that matters!”
it does more harm than good to prop up the myth of the ‘neurotypical’ who completes tasks cheerfully with no issues. this person is a capitalist fantasy. the more you define yourself in comparison to this myth the more you justify social structures staying the same with minor accommodations to the ‘exceptions’ and the continued pathologizing of discomfort under hostile conditions
While scanning the skies for near earth objects Hungarian astronomer Krisztián Sárneczky first imaged the meter-sized space rock now cataloged as 2023 CX1.
It’s actually so important to sleep in your contacts. It adds an extra layer of protection to your eyes and minimizes risk of them being devoured by wanton creatures of the night
I get how the whole “listening to music as a dick-measuring contest for who can listen to the most obscure band” thing can get grating sometimes but I don’t think people realize just how vital that phenomenon is for new up and coming bands to get a foot in the door. it’s understandable to be annoyed by hipsterism but unless you want all music to be industry plants and former child stars you’re just going to have to accept it as part of the social ecosystem.
most of your friends probably won’t go around hyping up your amateurish self-released bandcamp project, but you know who will? the most insufferable hipster jackass you’ll ever meet.
[your best friend playing your music in front of someone else]: yeah haha this is my friend’s band… i know it’s kinda weird and rough around the edges but i’m kinda into it… if you’re not tho i’ll turn it off.
[pretentious music guy you’ve never met before playing your music in front of someone else]: yeah so i found this on bandcamp and it completely blew me away, no one is making music like this today, it’s so raw and experimental and interesting, i can’t believe they only have 3 listeners on spotify, they’re brilliant, frankly if you don’t like this music you should kill yourself,
“can’t you just enjoy things?” i enjoy critically engaging with media I love… it’s not the same as being hater. but I also enjoy being a hater so fuck you
